


Staying

by Isilloth



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cousin Incest, F/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-01-27 20:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21398254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isilloth/pseuds/Isilloth
Summary: Aredhel and Maeglin are running away from Nan Elmoth. When they decided to stay at Celegorm and Curufin's house, they didn't know it would be longer than one night.
Relationships: Aredhel/Celegorm | Turcafinwë
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

“Your cousin is here, my lord.”

„Cousin? Which one?” Celegorm didn’t even look up, although he was a little bit surprised by these words.

“Lady Aredhel,” the servant responded.

Celegorm dropped his quill. It can’t be… It had to be some sick joke. He can’t allow himself even hope it may be true.

“Lady Aredhel?” he repeated with disbelieve.

“Yes, she’s here. I coming from the gates, you ought to be informed of every visitor.”

“Did my brother know?”

“Yes, the other guard was sent to him.”

“I shall greet her… Let’s go.”

He left the room on shaking legs. He tried to compose himself and quickened the pace. Irissë here… He couldn’t believe it.

But she stood here. Dressed all in white, as always, though different. She looked more fragile than always, maybe frightened. There was something off about here, the way she stood the way she looked at him, the way she held her hands.

“Irissë!” he cried nonetheless. “You're alive!” He embraced her tightly.

“I’m glad to see you too, Tyelko.”

“And who's this young man?” asked Curufin and Celegorm looked at an elf who stood behind Aredhel, suddenly aware of his presence. He was dressed all in black, contrary to the lady with whom he arrived, still, he looked an awful lot like her. Leaving the eyes, deeply black and piercing.

Aredhel stepped back and put her arm around him.

“This is my son, Lómion.”

“Your son?” repeated Celegorm blankly.

“Yes, Tyelcormo, my son.”

“Maybe we come inside? It’s no point in talking on the threshold” said Curufin.

“I thought to ask you for fresh horses and come our way. We are in a bit of a hurry.”

“Stay at least for dinner. We haven’t seen each other for ages,” said Celegorm.

Aredhel nodded and they entered the house. Curufin ordered to prepare dinner for them and Celebrimbor joined them at the dining room. He greeted her aunt and cousin, with a visible sigh of relief. He was the one who was the host when Aredhel last visited the pass of Aglon and blamed himself for her disappearance. They eat in silence for a while.

“So, where have you been? Why didn’t you contact us? We thought you dead...” started Celegorm.

“I couldn’t,” said Aredhel quietly.

Something in her voice said to him that she didn’t want to explain.

“Where are you going?” asked Curufin. He seemed to try to play polite host in this situation.

“To Gondolin. I want to come back to my brother.”

“I thought you had enough of it” noted Celegorm.

“I need to calm now. I and Lómion would be safe there.”

“Safe? Are you unsafe here? What is happening, Irissë? You got to tell me,” said Celegorm.

But Aredhel was silent. To his surprise, Lómion was the one to speak, for the first time today.

“We are running away,” he started gingerly. He talked with some trouble in Quenya, but he managed to speak clearly. “From my father.”

“Your father?”

“Yes, Eöl, lord of Nan Elmoth.”

“Eöl the Dark Elf?!” shouted Celegorm, unable to restrain himself. “You married Eöl the Dark Elf? Are you insane?”

“Tyelko...” Curufin place a hand on his shoulder.

“And now, you’re running away from him… Not surprising.”

Aredhel didn’t comment, she only looked at her hands.

Curufin looked at them with concern. “Tyelpe, maybe you show Lómion our home?”

“Of course, father. Come on, Lómion.”

The silence lingered after doors behind Maeglin and Celebrimbor went shut. Aredhel was glancing nervously at Celegorm.

“I leave you to that,” said Curufin, leaving.

“I think we should go now,” said Aredhel, before he left.

“Stay,” Celegorm said firmly, persuasive.

“I… can’t, Tyelko. I have to think about Lómion.” She wasn’t looking into his eyes.

“Irissë…” he took her hand and then suddenly, he cried “who do this to you?!”

Her right hand has fingers who seemed to be broken and then mended oddly. 

“It was him, wasn’t he?! I kill him, I swear I kill him,” and he stepped in direction of the door as if he was about to do this right now.

“Tyelko, no!” Aredhel followed him and put an arm on his shoulder. “Tyelko, please, don’t do this. He's the father of my son.”

“Why not? He bullied you and probably bullied him, he didn’t deserve to live.”

“So what is the answer? Another kinslaying?”

“He’s no kin to me.”

“Tyelko… He may not be kin to you, but he is to me, and my son. Swear you won’t hurt him.”

“I won’t hurt him, although if he would try to hurt you or your son, I won’t keep that promise.”

“Just… don’t go and kill him unprovoked. I don’t want your fea to be… tainted, because of him.”

Celegorm laughed bitterly.

“Irissë, my fea is so damned, it really couldn’t be worse. At least not because of this prick.”

“So it’s mine,” she whispered. 

They sat in silence for a while, remembering their old deeds, deeds they would regret till the end of time. 

“So it’s maybe fair, what’s Eöl was saying. And what’s his done to me.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“Why? Why not? It’s true, I deserved everything. But not Lómion. He’s innocent and deserved better. That’s why we should go, left for Gondolin.”

“Stay here, you can go to Gondolin at any time, but when you go there, there will be no other choice. Do you want to be locked in the cage again?”

“No, I don’t” Aredhel snapped. Celegorm smiled. She was his old Irissë after all, not this person with the broken spirit she seemed to be. Everything going to be okay after all. “But I must go there. For Lómion.”

“He would be safe here. Curvo and Tyelpe would teach him, I would treat him like my own, I promise.”

“I… I need to think about it.”

“So stay over for the night, but first you need to see a healer. With this hand. Do you have any other… wounds?”

“I don’t think I need it right now. It’s already healed, even if not fully proper.”

“But I’m sure good healer could help.”

“Yeah, breaking again, probably. Maybe when I decide what to do next, or in Gondolin. I must speak to Lómion.”

“I’m sure he would like to see you happy, for a change.”

“And you can give me that happiness?”

“I hope so…”

The doors to the room opened, and Celebrimbor with Maeglin entered. Curufin, accompanied by a servant, followed them. Young Aredhel’s son looked a lot happier than when he came to their home.

“Mother, you won't believe it! They have forges much better equipped than father's. And the swords they made! And the armours!”

Celegorm and Aredhel’s eyes met, like if he wanted to say “I told you so”. He had never been to Gondolin, obviously, but he was sure of his brother’s forges quality. 

“You know I’m not an expert on this. But I’m glad you like it. What would you say, if we stay here for tonight?”

“Shouldn’t we go to Gondolin? Father may found us.”

“Don’t be afraid of your father,” Curufin joined the conversation. “He won’t hurt you here, I promise. Or find you.”

“So I would gladly stay here, ammë. Maybe tomorrow Tyeple could show me more of the forges?” Maeglin looked at his cousin hesitantly. Celebrimbor smiled and nodded.

“You probably tired and it’s late,” Curufin said. “Hecillë would show you your rooms.” The servant stepped forward, and Maeglin with Aredhel followed them, leaving the dining room. 

“So, did you convinced her to stay?” asked Curufin, when Celebrimbor also left the room and there was just the two of them. 

“I hope so. She said she needs to think about it. But I can be very persuasive.”

“Yes, I thought so. I think I need to go to the borders of Nan Elmoth, to catch Eöl when he would try to go here.”

“I promise Irissë not to kill him, but… You didn’t make any promise.”

“Don’t you think it would be a little bit stretch? I just pointed him in a bad direction, hope he just finds that they have escaped to the Gondolin and will not be able to catch them.”

“Okay, it’s your will. I don’t want to pressure you, I was just saying…”

“I know, but Irissë wouldn’t like me to kill him.”

“I know, I shouldn’t suggest that. So go and wait for him. I would go to Irissë and persuade her a little bit.” Celegorm said with a grin.

“I don’t think I want to listen about it,” Curufin cut off.

* * *

Aredhel sat on the bed. She felt.. she felt calm, for the first time in a long time. Maybe she didn’t yet feel safe, but she was in a good way to that. Maybe in Gondolin, she would regain peace of mind. If she gets there at all.

Gondolin, the golden cage. In her stories, it might seem to be paradise, especially in comparison to Nan Elmoth. Her son probably saw it like that, but she wasn’t sure this at all. She had never felt good in the city, even when they still lived in Tirion. And Gondolin… Well, it wasn’t Tirion, and, despite all precautions, even there one might not live so jauntily. The fear was deep under their skin, even there. Even if they would never admit that. Moreover Tirion she might leave any moment. She might go hunting in Orome’s forest, swim in the ocean or overcome the mountain pass. While Gondolin… Gondolin was a prison. Luxurious and safe, but a prison.

And it didn't matter that you couldn't travel freely outside of it, that last time when she was doing this it didn’t end well. That despite the temporary peace everyone knew it was, well, just temporary. Here, despite all this, she was free. Not like in Gondolin… Or not in Nan Elmoth, this dark forest, when all trees seemed to suffocate them. Open-air, that was something she was born for. 

She didn’t want to be caged again. She loved her brother and his daughter, but it didn’t mean that he was the greatest companion. After years of living together, the differences in their characters could be felt too much. And Celegorm? With him, everything was easier. 

There was a knock to the door. Aredhel expected that. She knew Celegorm would eventually come. 

“Come in.”

As she expected, one of her hosts came in.

“What’s brings you here?” she asked, turning to the doors.

“I wanted to… talk,” he said, sitting. “ I wanted you to stay here, with me.”

“Tyelko, I… I want to stay here.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“I just don’t know. I don’t know what would be best. For Lómion.”

“Think about yourself sometimes.”

“I thought, too often. Now I have a son, and I must be responsible for him.”

“I see. But Lómion would be good here, I told you so. He would love Curvo’s forges and hunting…”

“I know, but he always dreamt about Gondolin. I don’t want to take this dream away from him.” Aredhel turned back to him and looked down. 

“Freedom would do him nothing, but good. And he would be free here.”

“I didn’t say it was bad for him here. Just… I told him so many stories about Gondolin as if he was about to go there someday.”

“I understand, truly. The decision is yours. Just... I missed you so much for all those years.”

“I’m not this old Irissë that you knew anymore.”

“We all have changed. That doesn’t mean we can’t be together again.”

He started to kiss her from behind, where the neck and the arms were joined. 

“Tyelko, I’m not sure if I want this right now,” she said, turning to him. “After all this what’s Eöl had done…”

“Hush, don’t speak about it now. I promise I would be delicate.”

Aredhel hesitated and then she kissed him on lips.

“The delicacy will be a nice change.”

She kissed him again, touching his face with her hand. 

Celegorm kissed her hand, and then she went lower, to her neck. He started to untie her dress and he gently slid it off her shoulders. They stood up for the moment and he took off the shirt, pants and underwear. Aredhel slid off her dress and Celegorm helped her with her underwear, kissing her arms and caressing her clitoris in process. Aredhel moaned quietly. 

“You are beautiful,” he whispered, seeing her naked. They lay down again, and they mouth joined in a long kiss. Celegorm started to caress her clitoris and Aredhel stiffened in delight. His tongue started circling her nipples, making her tremble. She felt the moisture between her legs.

“Come inside me,” she whispered when he leaned over her, delicately biting her ear.

“Are you sure?” he asked, still massaging her clit. 

“Yes,” she moaned. 

He came inside her and they both started to move in a silent rhythm. Aredhel came first, biting him in the arm to avoid loud cry. Celegorm was right after her, with a muffled moan, and then they both laid down, nestled in each other. Celegorm played with their hair as if comparing her dark hair with his, silvery blond. Soon they fall asleep like that. The last Aredhel’s thought was that she didn’t want to leave. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was early morning when Maeglin woke up. Initially, he didn’t know where he was, but soon he remembered what’s happened yesterday. He was finally free, away from Nan Elmoth, away from his father. They run away! Everything went well, father still didn’t find them, and they were safe, at his uncles’ home at Pass of Aglon. About to go to Gondolin.

Well, the latter he wasn’t sure. His mother seemed to discuss other options with his uncle, and cousin Tyelpe also was acting as if they were supposed to stay here. It’s not like if he was wholly against it, just… Gondolin was the place where his minds wander in the times of worse troubles, the place about which he dreamed at night. Sure, the forges here were neat, and his cousin seemed to know his job at them, but… It wasn’t the beautiful city he has in mind.

Of course, the decision was to be made by his mother. She was the one who knew the way to Gondolin, who was able to lead them there. He convinced her to leave, as she was too afraid, but she was also the main reason he decided to do this. She suffered there way more than him. Father seemed to hate her, and Maeglin frequently wondered why he at all married her and wanted her to stay. He suspected it was mostly lusting on his father part, not much of the feelings, and maybe fear on his mother part. He saw they weren’t happy with each other, neither his father nor his mother. The violence that was part of their life in Nan Elmoth only made him sure of this. And longing in the voice of his mother, when she told him stories about her previous life. Sometimes he wondered if he regretted that he was born.

After Maeglin was done with rethinking everything over and over again, he decided it’s time to leave his room and look for something to eat. And someone who told him what to do. He dressed up in one of outfit he took from home. There was not plenty of them, as they packed up in a hurry and were convinced they would reach Gondolin soon where they would be able to get some clothes. Well, there were tailors also there. If they were to stay here.

The stronghold was still silent, as it was early morning, but the servants already had started work. He didn’t knock to his mother room, not wanting to wake her up. She had never been early riser so she probably was still asleep. Maeglin went down to the dining room where they were eating supper yesterday. She didn’t find anyone, but the servant who asked him if he wanted breakfast. Indeed he wanted and soon he was served. As he ate, his cousin Tyelpe show up.

“I see you are an early bird,” he spoke in Sindarin, probably knowing it would be easier for Maeglin. Yesterday, when they were visiting the forges he also used this language, even though all conversations at the table where conducted in Quenya.

“Yes, I’m.”

“I don’t think it runs in this family. My father and uncle like to sleep and I get up early only if I have some project in my mind.”

“So, are you doing anything particularly right now?”

“Oh, today I just wanted to check up on you. I didn’t know where would you wake up, so I get up earlier. I work on a new way of melting metal in the production of swords, but it’s not anything urgent. Do you want to work with me?”

Maeglin was positively surprised that Tyelpe asked him about it. He didn’t expect his cousin would ask him to help so soon. It was another reason to think that they going to stay here. And maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. He didn’t hear uncle Turgon or Idril, his daughter, were particularly interested in blacksmithing. Here he could work with son and grandson of famous Fëanor, about him his mother spoke with such admiration. And father with so much hate. But he spoke hatefully about everyone from his Noldorin family site.

“Yes, of course! But I don’t know where we would set off on a further way,” he responded.

“If you set off,” Tyelpe added with a smile.

“If…” his cousin may know something Maeglin didn’t.

“You’ll see it be fun. Gondolin probably is a beautiful city, I’m sure of it, but here also you would learn a lot, I promise you that.”

“Well, I don’t know what my mother decides. Or what I want.”

“Okay, let’s go to the forge. You would have time to think about it. It always better to think while you have something to occupy your hands. Or at least for me, it’s better.”

“Yes, you are right. Let’s go.”

At the forge, Tyelpe showed him equipment and what he was currently working on. They spend all morning on perfecting the process of melting steel for swords. There was a greater need for swords nowadays, but Celebrimbor told him he is more interested in jewellery than a weapon. Good interest for time of peace, not living in constant danger of upcoming war. Everyone knew sooner or later the siege of Angband would end.

When the sun was already high Curufin joined them in the forge.

“I thought I would find you there,” he said, on the sight of Maeglin. “Your mother is looking for you. She is in the room where we were eating yesterday. May you come there now?”

“Yes, of course,” Maeglin knew that he’s fate would be decided. He put the equipment to its places, said goodbye to his cousin and left for the main building.

When he entered the room his mother spoke to Celegorm. And she was smiling. It was a long time since Maeglin saw her this happy. And he wanted to see her such as frequently as possible. He wondered if in Gondolin she would also be such.

“Lómion, here you are. I wanted to speak to you. Sit down,” she said when she saw him.

“How do you like our forges? Do you get along with Tyelpe?,” Celegorm asked.

“They are very well equipped. And I think we get along quite well. Celebrimbor showed me pretty much cool stuff,” he answered, sitting down.

“And generally, what are you thinking about this place?” Aredhel spoke, and he saw in which direction they were heading. She wanted to stay, and, probably, this smile she was wearing when he entered. He wanted her to be happy… But he also wanted to see Gondolin. What if she would be happier here?

“It’s cool. As I said the forges are awesome and Tyelpe’s work is very interesting. I like it here, but…” he was uncertain what could he add.

“Would you like to stay here?” she asked, as he expected.

He eyed Celegorm, what didn’t escape Aredhel’s attention.

“Tyelko, maybe leave us alone?”

“It’s not necessary,” Maeglin said.

“I let you talk in private,” Celegorm stood up and headed to the door.

“So, Lómion, what would you say?” she asked when his uncle left the room.

“It’s not like I can’t talk about it in uncle Tyelko presence…” or at least he hoped so. He hoped he was perfectly safe here, no matter what he would say.

“I know, but I thought you would feel more comfortable talking just with me. I don’t think we need Tyelko’s supervision.”

“Okay. Frankly, I don’t know. I dreamt about seeing Gondolin, but… If you are happy here, happier than you’d be in Gondolin I don’t want to change it. Also, there is always time to head to Gondolin, am I right?”

“Yes, you’re right. I want to stay here, but if your dream is to see Gondolin… I don’t want to deprive you of it.”

“Mom, I don’t know how it would be there. I dreamt of it because you told me so much about it, but if for you it’s better here, I will agree with that. I like it here too, maybe it would turn out for the best.”

“I hope so. I tell Tyelko we want to stay. I’m glad you agreed with me. I love you, Lómion.”

She was different here than at home. Maeglin saw the confidence in her attitude, she seemed to walk more upright and even speak a little bit louder. One day was enough to make her such. He would have finally had the opportunity to see his mother as she was, in times of happiness, as he saw her in so little moments when they were alone, far from father. On this memory, he shivered. What if Eöl would find them here? What would he do? He was his father after all…But he didn’t want to go back, and he wouldn’t even like to think about how Eöl punish them if they were to come back. No, this was impossible. They had to stay here. In a place not as safe as secured Gondolin, but where at least they had freedom.

Curufin sat at his office, not doing anything particular. He just thought. The arrival of Aredhel and her son was a great surprise for them both, but he wasn’t so eager to let them stay here as Celegorm. He may not have anything against it, but he knew it could be problematic. Eöl would finally find out they were here, and then they probably would have to kill him. Curufin didn’t believe he would let Aredhel and Maeglin stay here without a fight. He saw him yesterday evening and spoke to him, telling that his wife and son left for Gondolin. After not finding them he might just come back to his damned forest, but he can also go here. Or found out after some time, when it would spread that Aredhel is here. And it would, there was no point in denying it. After so many years when she was missing she came back with a son. It was more than certain it would be a sensation on elven courts, even if she wouldn’t leave the stronghold. Maybe to Nan Elmoth the rumours didn’t get through, and let hope so…

He also was a little bit worried about Celegorm. He may be a younger brother, but he was the more responsible one. He and Aredhel always got along, and for most of the time, they had romance. He knew they would if they hadn’t done it already, start it again, this time without having to hide it before their parents. It could affect Celegorm, already not very good, reputation. Curufin hoped his favourite brother would eventually get married, and now this opportunity, at least for the alliance, would be erased.

Well, the most important is for them to be happy, Curufin thought and came back to report he was occupied with earlier.


	3. Chapter 3

Days went by and they thought they were safe. But this could be just an illusion. Or so Aredhel thought later.

They were here only for a few days when the message come: Eöl was at the gates. 

Aredhel’s heart leapt. She hoped she would never see him again. She knew it may be stupid or too optimistic, but she hoped so. Now when she felt the freedom. She knew what’s Eöl would demand and she didn’t intend to surrender to it. She also knew her husband didn't take a no from her and she was afraid. Maybe the best solution would be to hide and let Celegorm and Curufin to take care of this case, but it wouldn’t be the bravest scenario. Although quite tempting. 

“Don’t be afraid. You didn’t even have to go out to him,” Celegorm seemed to read her mind. They were just eating the dinner, together with Curufin, Maeglin and Celebrimbor. Her son also looked afraid. But she knew he would manage to face his father.

“We won’t be hiding like rats,” she exclaimed, proudly lifting her head. She was a Nolde after all. Maeglin just nodded.

“I’m not sure if that’s safe,” Curufin noted.

“Have him searched before you bring him to us. What could happen?”

Celegorm nodded and gave the appropriate order. They went to the room where they usually received guests. If Eöl could be listed amongst them. 

At the middle of the room, on the platform, stood two chairs for lords of this stronghold. Celegorm ordered the servants to bring three more, for Aredhel, Maeglin and Celebrimbor, to have them receive Eöl properly. After a moment the dark elf was brought to them. The guards deprived him of a weapon and held him between them. He looked furious.

“So here you are! I knew you are lying! Filthy Noldo,” Eöl shouted. “Come back with me to Nan Elmoth!” he demanded.

“They are not going to come anywhere with you,” Curufin said when the dark elf was brought before them., still held by the guards. “You may leave, but don’t come here ever again or your fate will be miserable.”

Eöl spat on the floor.

“I have to them more right than you, liar. I won’t go anywhere without them. This is my wife and my son.”

“You don’t have any rights over them. They are free people and they would do what they pleased.”

“And we don’t want to come back with you,” Aredhel added. “We are staying here.”

“You may stay here, you whore, but you won’t take my son from me.” He started to straighten up as much as the hands of the guards let him. “Maeglin, let’s go back.”

“I’m staying,” Maeglin spoke the first time. He was speaking quietly, but firmly.

“What? You supposed to listen to me, son. Blood of my blood.”

“I’m staying with mom.”

“You heard, Eöl,” Celegorm said. “Now you can go back to Nan Elmoth, but don’t come here ever again.”

The dark elf trembled with anger, hearing these words, but he didn’t have a way to do anything right now.

“You will regret it!” he shouted.

“Lead him out!”

* * *

Maeglin was standing at the window, his eyes following his father. He was heading in the direction of Nan Elmoth, hopefully, to not be seen ever again. Maeglin felt relief but also… He didn’t know… Maybe regret? He had some moments with his father, and, although he grew to hate him for what he was doing to his mother, he remembered times when Eöl was an idol to him. 

“It’s okay if you have conflicted feelings about him.” He didn’t hear Celegorm approaching him. He looked at his uncle. “I frequently have such about my father.”

“Fëanor?”

“Yes, the same. For you, he might be a legend, good or bad, whether you heard about him from your father or mother, but for me, he was a real person. Loving, familiar and caring. At least that was what I want to remember. Because at the end… He became a stranger to me. And for my brothers too. Yes, I listened to him, as a son, as a subject supposed to, but… The things he has done, the things we have done, because I can’t deny my participation, were terrible. And I don’t want to blame solely my father, as we had free will and we could refuse, but it was too hard to do. My father may not be an evil man, but his deeds, especially at the end of his life, were terrible. And I still love him, despite this fact.”

“I don’t think I love my father. Yours probably never hurt you or your mother?”

“No, not physically. He wasn’t such a man. But at the end of their marriage, he and mother didn’t get along, the fights were terrible. And the Oath, even the idea of swearing it… It was horrible, and I regret it. Did your father hurt you?”

“Me? Not, but mother… You saw her hand, and it wasn’t a one-time thing.”

“I know, she told me so. Maybe it’s for the best you don’t have feelings toward him,” Celegorm put a hand on Maeglin’s arm. “I hope you have never seen him again.”

“I hope so too.”


	4. Chapter 4

_Several years later_

The sound of colliding swords floated above the yard. Celegorm was already all sweaty, but he didn’t stop sparring. Maeglin, as always, fought with an old, black sword of his father, properly protected. Celegorm thought it was a strange choice, after all, together with Celebrimbor they constantly created new swords, for sure better associated, but he spoke nothing. Maybe young elf needed such remembrance.

This thought must distract him because Maeglin knocked out his sword.

“Bravo, Lómion, you won,” he said, shaking his hand.

“Do you let me?” he asked suspiciously.

“No, you won fairly.”

Maeglin nodded.

Aredhel, who just came out of the building, must-have watch the end of their fight.

“What am I seeing? Tyelko defeated. Congratulation, Lómion.” She came over and hugged her son.

“It’s not such a big deal, don’t overdo it,” said Celegorm. “It happened earlier.”

“But not so frequently,” noticed Maeglin.

“You just become better and better.”

“Do you want a rematch?” he asked with a smile. “Maybe I let you win for a change.”

“Maybe not now,” Aredhel interrupted. “Tyelko we must talk. In private,” only then he noticed anxiety on her face.

“What happened?”

Both of them looked at her with concern. Did she want to leave? Celegorm still feared that someday it happened, even if everything went so well and old grudges were forgotten.

Aredhel looked briefly at Maeglin.

“In private.”

“But mom, I thought you didn’t have secrets from me.”

“I don’t, but first I wanted to discuss it with your uncle. Let us.”

Maeglin looked down and Celegorm was more and more concern.

“Okay, so I left you to this,” he said, coming to the building.

Celegorm already opened his mouth when Aredhel interrupted.

“Maybe not here.”

“So let go inside.”

They followed Maeglin until the found an empty room.

“What is going on? Why are you so secretive?” he asked as the doors behind them went shut.

Aredhel lowered her head and was silent for a moment.

“I’m pregnant.”

‘What?” he was completely aghast, and it was the only thing that escaped his lips.

“I’m pregnant, Tyelko. You will be a father.”

“It’s… it’s wonderful,” he smiled, taking her hands. “I’m glad, I’m truly glad.”

“And I’m not.”

“Why?”

“Think for once! We’re not married, in fact, I’m still Eöl’s wife! How do you imagine it? Illegitimate child in the royal family? It will be a scandal.”

“Since when we care about what would people say? Everyone knows we had a romance, they talk and it doesn’t bother you. A child wouldn’t be anything worse.”

“I don’t know.” She took out her hands from his and hid her face in them. “What future would this child have?”

“The best we could provide. Maybe being my son…”

“Or a daughter.”

“or daughter, legitimate or not, isn’t the best recommendation for the world, but you will see, everything will be fine. Don’t worry.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Have you been at the healer?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t bother you otherwise. She said everything is fine.”

“We need to tell this the rest of the family.”

“Before it would be evident

Celegorm nodded.

“It will be fine, you will see,” he repeated.

“May it be so.”

Celegorm and Aredhel looked strangely agitated tonight. Curufin was curious about what could be the reasons for this. He noticed they looked at each other nervously and were holding their hands. Maeglin also looked at them with curiosity. He was about to ask when Celegorm spoke.

“We want to tell you something,” he started with hesitation, exchanging looks with Aredhel. “We will have a baby.”

“What?” Curufin, unknowingly, repeated reaction of his brother. He wasn’t expecting this at all. Maybe he should. He looked at the rest. They were equally shocked.

“You heard. I’m pregnant,” Aredhel said. “And, obviously, Tyelko will be the father.”

They had never told officially about their romance, but it was obvious for all, including staff and, probably, the rest of the family.

“Congratulation, mom, uncle,” Maeglin said. He seemed to speak with difficulty, but soon he collected himself. “I’m really glad.”

Curufin said nothing, he just sat there with a slightly sour expression. It definitely wasn’t a good idea. What were they thinking? Bastard? To completely destroy their reputation. Poor child. As if it wasn't enough that they are kinslayers. But he didn’t want to argue that in front of everyone. He would have to speak with his brother, who probably must have seen his unfavourable attitude, cause he gave him a look of reproach.

After the dinner, when everyone went out, Curufin put the hand on Celegorm’s arm giving him a sign he wanted to talk.

“Tyelko, are you insane?” he asked when everybody left.

“Why?”

“A child? Illegitimate? Really? You have to be insane to decide on that.”

“It’s not like we decided for anything. We just… were a little reckless.”

“Even better! Tyelko, I thought you are a little bit more responsible. If not you at least Irissë.”

”As you can see, we aren’t. Believe me, I was in shock too. But it will be somehow, you’ll see.”

“I want to see this >somehow< when Nolofinwë will hear about this. He will be livid.”

“He somehow swallowed the news he had the one grandson whose father is the dark elf. And that his daughter is staying with me. It will be fine. And he doesn’t have to know it, for now.”

“We will see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a little drama but... It is a self-indulged fic, so...


	5. Chapter 5

Celegorm was pacing. Aredhel didn’t want him at the room when she was about to give birth. Which was quite odd to him, as his father always accompanied his mother in such a situation.

The labour already lasted many hours. He knew, being the older brother of four and an uncle, that it could take a while, but he was more nervous with every hour. Their situation was special, and he was very concerned. Aredhel wasn't feeling very well at the end of pregnancy and he was afraid. What if something happened to her? What if she would follow Miriel footsteps? He would never forgive himself.

The doors to the room swung open, and the midwife came out of them. Celegorm looked at her with anticipation, and a little bit of fear.

“You have a daughter, my lord. Do you want to see her?”

“Yes, of course.”

He followed the midwife to the room.

Aredhel was laying on the bed, exhausted, but happy. She was holding a bundle of cloth, from which only the child’s head was sticking out. The girl was already cleaned up, and her silver hair, slightly darker than his own, were slicked to her head. She was sleeping.

“She’s beautiful,” Celegorm whispered, like if afraid of ruining the peace of this room.

“Yes, she is. And she’s very much like you. Do you want to hold her?”

Celegorm nodded, taking the child from Aredhel’s arms. When he took her, the girl opened her eyes and seemed to look at him with pale blue eyes. She was much paler than him, so his arms stood out from her skin.

“She may have my eyes and hair, but she got your complexion,” he said, rocking her slightly. “We will see after whom she would take more.”

“But she doubtless looks like your daughter. There would be no denying that.”

“And I hope she wouldn’t want to deny it. Do you have a name?”

“I thought about Raumiel, daughter of the storm.”

“Why?”

“This is what I saw when she was born. The storm. And the times are stormy… I don’t know, call it a premonition, although I had never been good at this. And how would you call her?”

“I thought about Telpefinwen, now, when I saw her. You know I have never been good at naming, but I find it a great idea. She is silver-haired, so it fits and it would honour both Tyelperinquar and our grandfather…”

“You’re right, but I’m not sure if naming after king Finwë is the best option in our situation.”

“Maybe, but I think we shouldn’t be ashamed or put the shame on her. She’s Finwean, and, even double if I could say that.”

“So let it be that way. And now I think I need a rest, not serious conversation.”

Celegorm sat at the chair, still rocking the baby, who fall asleep again. He was happy and relieved. Everything seemed to go into a good direction, and Aredhel wasn’t going to fade as his grandmother.

* * *

Raumiel, as everybody was calling her, grew quick and soon she became darling of the family. At least her father’s side. All uncles doted over her, the first girl in the family. She had all kind of toys, wooden, made mostly by her older brother or sewn, from her uncle Caranthir. There was nothing but happiness in her childhood.

* * *

Aredhel was sitting with her daughter, teaching her letters, as she did teach Maeglin. She may not be the best teacher, she thought, but she decided to do it herself, at least in case of reading and writing. She remembered as her mother taught her these basics at home, while other things she learnt at school, with other children. The parents didn’t isolate them, even if they were royalties.

Her daughter, however, where much as her son, didn’t have many friends at her age. Elves rarely reproduced, especially in so dangerous times. There was only one boy in the threshold, a little bit older than Raumiel, but they planned to teach them together. They played together and grown fond of each other. 

They just finished reading a poem when someone knocked.

“Come in,” Aredhel said, opening the door. The servant stood there.

“There is a letter for you, my lady.” He gave her a parchment, sealed with a Fingon’s sign. It was her name on this.

She opened the letter.

“What is it, mom?” Raumiel approached her, trying to read over her shoulder.

Aredhel scanned the letter. Fingon was at Maedhros’ stronghold and he decided to pay a visit to meet his new niece and not so newly found nephew he hadn't seen yet.

“Your uncle will visit us.”

“Which one? Uncle Carnistir?” she mentioned her favourite Feanorian, apart from Curufin and her father. She knew good all her uncles from this side.

“No, it’s my brother this time. Fingon. You don’t know him yet.”

“But I will meet him?”

“Yes, of course, sweetheart. I think he will come here especially for you.”

* * *

Fingon and Maedhros were journeying alone, taking time for themselves once they left the latter’s stronghold. They took the last camp before reaching the Pass of Aglon.

“I always knew they would eventually be together,” Fingon started.

“Yeah, dating cousins runs in this family,” Maedhros responded, leaning to him and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“Indeed, but I would never expect them to become parents. I’ve never expected for Irissë to make me an uncle.”

“Such things happen… But they’re happy, I guess. And the girl is sweet.”

“And Lómion, her son? How is he?

“Quite the opposite,” Maedhros smiled. “He is very mature and serious. A great blacksmith, besides this. There is a friendship between him and Tyelperinquar.”

“So, maybe let’s go there, to meet them properly.”

They put the fire out and started to collect their belongings. The day was still young and they didn’t have much road ahead before they would reach their destination. They saw the stronghold in the light of the sun at noon. The inhabitants of it must also saw them, as they went to meet them. Three riders were approaching them, and as soon as they were close enough, they recognized Celegorm, Curufin and Aredhel.

“I’m glad to see you!” as they approach, Aredhel dismounted, as did Fingon, and they embraced each other.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you earlier. I really should have.”

They all dismounted and covered the distance that left on feet.

When in the stronghold, Fingon saw a dark-haired and dark-eyed young man, and a small girl with silver-hair, who held his hand. She seemed to be a little shy, with lowered head and half-hidden behind her brother, but he stood proud, looking Fingon straight in eyes. And after a moment, he smiled, which gave an older elf relief.

“You must be Lómion and Raumiel, my nephew and niece. I’m Findekàno. Nice to meet you two.”

“It's my pleasure,” the boy said, extending his hand to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I wasn't sure what to put in this chapter, so I don't know if it makes much sense.  
I think the next chapter or the one after it would be the last.


	6. Chapter 6

_F.A. 455_

The fire came at night. When the bright glow appeared on the north, the guardians didn’t initially know what it was. Only it’s surely something bad, dangerous. The peace lasted for so many years. They knew it had to end eventually.

Even though the sun didn’t appear on the firmament yet, at the courtyard it was light as daytime. The fire rivers and the orcs were already at the gates. It was only a matter of time when they get assaulted, with no way out.

“We had to run!” Aredhel shouted, standing on the walls.

“Alongside the fire, the orcs are coming. We had to defend ourselves.” Maeglin had already drawn his black sword.

Celegorm looked at them undecided. But he knew that every moment of hesitation could cost them life.

“Irissë, I want you to go to Nargothrond with children. You will lead the civilians, unfit to carry the weapon. We, together with warriors, will fight and try to defend as long as it would be possible, and later, if we manage, we would go in your footsteps. We will meet in Nargothrond, there we will be safe.” Celegorm drew his sword and looked once again at them. “ And, Lómion, I hope you won’t have to use it.”

“Be careful,” Aredhel hugged Celegorm and kissed him lightly. “See you in Nargothrond.”

* * *

Maeglin was slightly mad because the sent him away from the battlefield, but he didn’t object to his uncle. He told himself that his task is also important, but his pride was hurt. After all what for Celegorm taught him to fight? To be sent away with civilians?

They only drove away a bit from the battlefield, and behind they back still the bright glow was present. Aredhel rode ahead, leading their small group. Mostly women, few children, all armed despite the fact none of them was a warrior.

Suddenly, they heard some shouts, closer than receding battle. The refugees looked around, frightened. After a moment, from behind the trees, orcs emerged. Aredhel’s horse backed away in terror. He wasn’t the battle horse, used to frightening views. The first arrows from the orcs shot. Maeglin drew his sword. Celegorm’s words have to be said in a bad moment, he thought, before attacking. One of the women had the bow and started to respond to fire, but they weren’t well equipped, and the orcs outnumbered them. Maeglin felt it could be their end. How the orcs get through here?

“We should run away!” Aredhel shouted, but the orcs were running down the hills, cutting off their escape route. The shots were still sewing towards them, some of the archers stood on the hills.

“Don’t dismount!” she shouted once again. “We try to omit them!” She also drew her sword and moved into orcs direction. She fought bravely, as everyone in their group, but soon the wounded and killed were fall. Maeglin fought near the right side of his sister, who barely had control over the horse, while their mother took her left side. Little Raumiel was frightened to death, and she didn’t even draw her small sword, made for her as a gift from Maeglin. They were furiously fought by the host of orcs, they were almost there, with the handful of survivors, when Aredhel was shot in the right arm. She staggered. She dropped her sword, which falls on the ground. Soon, when she was still was to occupied with pain to obtain any other weapon, the strike with orc’s curved weapon occurred. It sliced her gut, and maybe it won’t be deadly if she didn’t fell, soon to be trampled by the orcs’ ironed shoes.

“Mom!” Raumiel shouted, with anguish.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye. Maeglin froze for a moment.

“Flee!” Aredhel managed to cry out before she was hit in the head and lost consciousness.

Maeglin felt rage. He wanted to do something, to help his mother, to kill as many orcs as possible. But he needed to listen to her last words. And he needed to protect his sister. He fought through them, and he saw some of the civilians manage to do the same. They passed past the last orcs and rushed their horses. Orcs may outnumber them, but their feet were no match for elven horses.

* * *

Celegorm eventually managed to reach Nargothrond. They also helped Orodreth and his wife to escape Minas Tirith, and now there were surrounded by many refugees. Halls of the secret city was full of them, but Finrod was welcoming and gave refugee to them all. But Celegorm couldn’t find the person which he sought. Finally, he saw Maeglin, who run to him as soon as he saw the Feanorians. His face did not reveal anything good. He fell into an embrace of his uncle.

“Lómion, what’s happened?” He asked, dreading the worse.

“Uncle…” Maeglin spoke with difficulty, his words were interrupted with sobbing. “Uncle… I’m so sorry… I supposed to protect her… And I failed…”

“Who? Protect who?” Celegorm looked in Maeglin’s face, red from crying.

“Mom… Mom is dead.”

Celegorm’s heart stopped. Curufin put a hand on his arm, and he realized, he must be silent for a moment.

“Where is Raumiel?” he asked, numbly. He couldn’t lose his daughter too.

“She’s asleep, princess Finduilas watch over her.” Maeglin seemed to calm down a little bit, but tears still were falling from his eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” Celegorm said, with absent eyes. He regained her just to lose her again. Fate eventually took her. Took her from him. How could he believe they could be happy again? After what he had done? It was a punishment from the Valar, he was sure of this.

“Led me to Raumiel. I need to see her.”

Maeglin nodded.

Celegorm followed him, feeling as if it was a dream. Golden halls merged into one, his every step moved him away from the life he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.


End file.
